


When The Night Is Long

by EmbryonicHarmonic



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Auri WoL, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Vault, Soft but painful, burn ward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 12:29:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19334551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbryonicHarmonic/pseuds/EmbryonicHarmonic
Summary: Strong men cannot be strong forever. Sometimes they must surrender, and allow others to help them.





	When The Night Is Long

I found him before anyone else. 

I found him lying on the floor, having dragged a blanket from his bed, not having the strength to even get fully out of his clothes. I found him feverish and shivering, soaked in sweat. The fire was nothing more than dim coals, and the room was cold. I fear if I had been any later, I would not have found him alive at all. 

“Aymeric!” 

He gasped at my shouting, and his eyes slowly parted. He was seeing me, but I don’t think he really saw me. I closed the door behind me, and moved over to him. I could smell the burned flesh, and I did not want to think of how bad this would be. 

“I… it’s….” He tried to force words, but he could barely speak. 

He wanted to say it was nothing. I knew it. 

“Can you move? I have to get you onto the bed.” I did not really wait for an answer, trying to pull him up into my arms. 

It almost worked. He pulled from me the instant I tried to touch him. His body was in pain. I could see it. He didn’t want me to touch him. If I touched him, would that have made everything real? It was, no matter how his mind wanted to pretend it wasn’t. He had been strong until no one could see him, and then he fell apart. But now I was here, and he could not hide it. He needed help, and was too proud to admit it. 

“Aymeric.”

He flinched. 

“I’m going to pick you up, and put you on the bed. I’m not going to hurt you.” I spoke clearly, moving into his range of vision. He braced himself. 

I tried to be gentle, gathering him up in my arms and lifting him. I was strong, I had to be. I was no Au Ra, and the truth was out now. No Warrior of Light. No Au Ra. I was a dragon, and my presence was heresy. It didn’t stop him, and it didn’t stop me. I set him on his bed, off the cold stone. He barely managed to stay upright, and I turned to the door. I poked my head out, and motioned to Lucia. Bandages, burn salve, and discretion. She nodded and I heard her move off down the hall. 

I turned back to Aymeric, and realized he was still shivering. I moved to the hearth, pulling twigs and logs from beside it to set ablaze. He needed to be warm, to fight whatever fever and pain was about to destroy him. He flinched away from the embers and the fire, turning his head so he wouldn’t have to see it. 

Whatever they had done to him in the Vault… I was going to hunt them all down. 

There was a knock on the door, and I moved to grab the acquired supplies. Lucia and I said nothing, just nodded and I closed the door again. The last thing Aymeric needed was more prying eyes. 

“I’m going to get you out of those clothes, and bandage you up, to help you heal.” I tried to stay in his line of sight at all times, like I would a wounded animal. He wouldn’t look directly at me. 

I sat back on the bed, helping him unbutton his shirt and start to peel the sweat soaked garment away from his skin. It was fine until I reached exactly what he did not want me to see, and he pressed his forehead into my shoulder as if he could hide. The cloth stuck to burned flesh, over his shoulder and down his side. I took a deep breath, and set to work. There would be no way to do this without causing him more pain. 

“I’m sorry.” I whispered in his ear as I started to pull and cut, snipping away charred skin and forcing new wounds. Blood could be washed out. 

I tried to think of something. Anything to say. I knew countless songs my mother had sung, but my mind may as well have been blank and completely empty. I had nothing to comfort him, just cutting away burned parts of him while he desperately tried to stay silent. It didn’t work, and his unburned hand crawled up my back to grip tightly at my clothes. He wanted so badly to stay strong, and pretend for no one but himself that he was okay. That he could hold onto himself and not be unmade. 

Except he was already coming undone and I couldn’t stop it. 

The Heaven’s Ward had seen fit to burn the very heresy out of him, and I fear they had succeeded. I could feel him shaking, and I wasn’t sure if it was fever or pain. Probably both. I couldn’t imagine what was going through his head. He was proud, I would not deny that. Lord Commander of Ishgard, Aymeric de Borel. Now a burned, hollowed-out heretic if the Inquisition had any say in the matter, though I assumed that because Thordan had run, there was less of a worry about that. I didn’t really know. 

“I… I was…” 

His voice was trembling as I cut the last of the cloth and skin away, tossing the now ruined shirt on the floor. I reached for the burn salve that Lucia had given me, and wondered if this would really help. I tried to be gentle, I really did. 

“--had to be strong…. F-for Ishgard… but…” 

He gripped my clothes tighter, burying his face against me so I wouldn’t see his weakness. Each touch, each attempt at me being as gentle as possible only caused him more pain, and as much as he wished to deny it, I could feel tears begin to wet my shirt. It was of no matter, clothes could be washed and dried. I was not so sure I could fix him so easily. I couldn’t, if I was being honest with myself. I could do many things, and this was not one of them. I couldn’t just go off and fight his nightmares when they were still here in his mind and burned into his skin. 

He would still have to be the Lord Commander tomorrow. 

“...but I.. I am a man.” 

I started wrapping bandages over his arm, and I turned my head gently to kiss the top of his. He flinched, and tried to suppress a sob. He might as well have been nothing, no title, no words, no glory. He was indeed just a mortal man, someone still craving comfort when he needed it the most. 

“Right now, that’s all you have to be.” I wasn’t the best with words, but it didn’t stop me right now. 

And it was true. Aymeric didn’t have to be anything. No great leader. No noble commander. Nothing. In this room, in this moment, he just had to be a person. He had to be himself, if he could even remember who that person really was at this point. I didn’t know if he was able to sort that out. The pain he was in had to be excruciating. I wanted to hold him, to wrap myself fully around him and just hold him. I couldn’t, not without hurting him. 

I loved him. 

“Tomorrow will come, and you will have to be a leader then, but right now? You just have to be Aymeric. You just have to rest, to try to close your eyes and recover.” 

I finished bandaging his wounds, helping him lie down. I tucked him in, sitting on the bed beside him. I wasn’t going anywhere. It was going to have to take a primal to move me, and even then I wasn’t really sure I would actually get up. 

After a few moments, his hand found mine, and I looked at him. He looked exhausted. Miserable. In absolute agony. 

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” I told him.

I leaned down again and kissed him. There wasn’t much more I could do. I could make him as comfortable as possible, and I could love him. 

He didn’t really sleep, but he was quiet, and he never let go of my hand.


End file.
